SciFi channel puts the final nail in the coffin by alienating (see what i did there?) it’s CORE FUCKING AUDIENCE and scouring away anything we, as geek-americans, still watched on that sad, shitty channel.

Here’s the full article, though I’m probably going to quote from it anyway. If it doesn’t make you want to break someone in half, you’re probably better off not reading the rest of this post, which is sure to be a rambling, angry list of swear words and nonsense.  SciFi Channel Aims to…

To sum up: “SciFi Channel” is changing their name to “SyFy” in order to remove the association with “science” and “fiction” but to keep the pronunciation the same. They’re also going to stop showing “good” shows and replacing it with “the same shit everyone else plays.”

What is SO fucking wrong about building a nitch and sticking with it? Geeks and scifi nerds aren’t going anywhere. Fuckin, MOST of the shows we like are reruns anyway, there’s like no overhead!  You could fill the lineup with nothing but star trek reruns, doctor who, and cheeto adverts and it would be the only channel I’d watch. We have good jobs, we buy gadgets we don’t need, and have nothing but free time.

But nah.  We want to be all things to all people until all channels are the same and simulcast wrestling and doctor fucking phil.

I like this quote:

“The name Sci Fi has been associated with geeks and dysfunctional, antisocial boys in their basements with video games and stuff like that, as opposed to the general public and the female audience in particular,” said TV historian Tim Brooks…

Mhmm. “geeks” and “nerds” are also often associated with “IT Department” and “Tech Support”, so…good luck with getting your Email setup at the office. Have fun with that enormous pile of fetish porn you’re going to suddenly find in your network share. Enjoy having “ps - I’m a giant douche bag and wear edible panties” added to the signature line of every email you send from your Blackberry.

“When we tested this new name, the thing that we got back from our 18-to-34 techno-savvy crowd, which is quite a lot of our audience, is actually this is how you’d text it,” Mr. Howe said.

That wasn’t a compliment.

“It made us feel much cooler, much more cutting-edge, much more hip, which was kind of bang-on what we wanted to achieve communication-wise.”

“Hip.” A word ONLY said by 50-something people trying to relate to people half their age. You. Are a douche.

The network plans to make the changeover July 7, when it will launch the new series “Warehouse 13.”

The series, about a secret government facility in South Dakota where all mysterious relics and supernatural souvenirs are housed, is emblematic of the channel’s programming direction.

“It is a dramedy and it is set in the here and now. It’s a kind of an Indiana Jones meets ‘Moonlighting’ meets ‘The X-Files,’” Mr. Howe said. “This is a very accessible, relatable, fun show.”

I wish I could hate you to death.  This show…is going to be…SO MONUMENTALLY bad.  It will make Hackers seem like Neuromancer. It will make the last Indiana Jones movie seem like the FIRST Indiana Jones movie.  It will harvest jokes and plots from original movies and shows that “tested well in our target demographic”, boil them in a giant steel vat with cat shit and blood from their own vile, putrid veins, and spoon feed the resulting turd margarita to a braindead, ignorant, ass picking audience. All 7 of them.

Mr. Howe said the network is close to announcing a title and description of the project, which will launch as both a subscription-based, massively multiplayer online game and a television series.

Die.

“We need an umbrella brand we can attach to new businesses: Sci Fi games, Sci Fi kids…

Know who else had brand recognition? The Nazis.

It’s official, after the final episode of Battlestar Galactica I have no reason to watch your shitty channel, “SyFy”.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 17th, 2009 at 1:53 pm and is filed under Bitch & Moan, Randomness.