I’m one tired puppy…Either the narcolepsy has inched forward in severity or it’s not narcolepsy at all.  I’m actually reminded of an episode of House I saw a while ago. Dr. House was arguing over a diagnosis and said something like “if you go to three different specialists with the same set of symptoms, you’re likely to get three different diagnoses”;  ie: if you go to a neurologist they’re going to say ‘it’s your brain’, etc. Well, I was tired all the time so I went to a sleep doctor.

Did the sleep tests, did the blood tests. Got the “it’s probably narcolepsy” diagnosis.  It was never 100%, but I guess it fit. So I go on Concerta and for the most part I do ok for a while.

Lately though, holy shit.  From what I understand, I’m on a pretty good dosage of speed and some days I feel like I haven’t taken it.  It’s always been hard to wake up and take it, sort of a catch-22 there, but lately it’s become brutal.  Not only am I e-fucking-xhausted I’m also very weak and sore.  I feel like I’ve had a really hard workout the previous evening, my muscles are that tired.

I’m not doing my chores, I’m not even doing the fun stuff I want to do. I can’t be buggered to sit at my computer upstairs and install a game to play. I don’t feel like I have the energy to draw. I just want to sleep or sit here and stare at the tube until bedtime.  That sounds like depression, I know, but it’s really not. I’ve been there/done that and with depression it’s more like a lack of interest in things you once found enjoyable, an indifference.  I *want* to do these things, I’m just too tired and weak feeling.

I’m sleeping more than I have in years but it’s never enough. I’ve not known a refreshing sleep in…well as long as I can remember. I hate to join the billions of Google Doctors, but I think I’m going to ask my doctor about the possiblity of chronic fatigue. Or at least say “hey, I think something’s different and/or still wrong with me”. I always get the feeling that if you go to a doctor with your own idea, they automatically shut it down.  I can’t really fault that…if someone else suggests “hey, I bet orange would be a good color for that” I will go out of my way to not use it.  But maybe my doctor isn’t a dick like I am.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 3rd, 2009 at 7:58 pm and is filed under Bitch & Moan, Randomness, The Confessional.